Who isn’t struggling with too much to do and feeling like there is not enough time to get it all done??
Whether it’s a true keeping up with the Jones’ mentality or just that you want change but can’t figure out how to change what’s not working, there is a system that may help you!
This will help, especially if you have kids that are expectant of being looked after! This could even work with some of those expectant partners or friends or even coworkers!
Create your own “I will not” list.
You can put whatever you feel overwhelmed by. Well, maybe not, but at least the tasks that are caused by others in your house or at work.
I better add that this is not a ‘get out of your own responsibilities’ kind of list. It’s just about not doing stuff for others because they are capable of doing it for themselves! And, it gives you the chance to actually get your own stuff done rather than spending all your time looking after others!
Here’s a picture of a list I made last night.
Obviously, the things you will not do should be related to the true capabilities of the kids or other adults.
Make a list of all the stuff you’re sick of doing for others – ESPECIALLY because others are more than capable of looking after themselves!
Just completely remove that stuff from your list and, therefore, remove it from your plate and your mind! The tables have turned.
It is now on them!
After making your list, post it somewhere that you can display it and everyone can see it. Knowing the kids, you may also need to make it bright, with flashing lights, tell them about it 18.5 times and have them re-read it as necessary when they are complaining that they have to do something that you used to do for them.
Put the responsibility back on them! Make them learn a bit about being independent and self-reliant, taking care of their own needs, and planning ahead with their time.
You don’t need to do it for them. Even if it takes a few minutes longer for them to get it done than it would have been for you. Let them figure it out!
This list comes with no stipulations. No, ‘I will not do this until…’ No negotiations… It’s just plain and simple. I will not do these things!
The next time a situation comes up, and others want to complain that it’s too hard or beg you to help, just point at the list. Remind them it will make them a better person to figure it out. Teach them if need be. Then leave the room and go do something for yourself.
This is a great way to practice setting some boundaries and getting more firm about your own priorities.
It also forces the whole family to become more of a team.
It’s effective to make a to-do list and cross stuff off of it, but don’t underestimate the firm, freeing power of an ‘I will not’ list!
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