Sorting out the SHOULDs!

Ever feel like there is a task that you really should do? Or at the end of the day, do you feel bad about yourself because you didn’t do something you should have done? Do you ever wonder how you will ever get done all of the things you should do?

Who says you SHOULD do anything?

The reality is, that all those “should”s probably stem from someone else telling you what you need to do, then you take it away as things you should do because someone else said so. The other truth is that other people may do it, so then it makes you feel like you should do it too!

Should is really such a terrible word, it’s loaded with failed intention right off the bat. If you tell yourself “I should really do that”, be aware of your next word. I bet it’s almost always “but…”!!

SHOULD gives way for the excuse!

It’s almost like the word should has built in guilt. Sure, there are a million things I should do in a day, or week. There are a million things I should do with the kids, or with the family, or for the house…there is no way everyone can keep up with all the shoulds, so just don’t use the word anymore.

There is no SHOULD!

If you’re a task lister like I am, then you probably often get down on yourself for your big list, especially if nothing gets crossed off your list for a while. But it’s ok, let yourself take breaks from being overly productive all the time. Life gets busy sometimes, it’s not worth being so hard on yourself.

My big huge task list, the dreams or goals if you will, of tasks I want done are not things I should do, but rather just goals, they are things I want to do! It is a long list of goals to accomplish around the house, or with kids etc. and most people would probably say it’s impossible to do it all. But that doesn’t matter. It’s just a list to keep me focused on my goals. Without the word should, suddenly there is no pressure!

There is no SHOULD!

Free yourself of the pressure put on your shoulders from others, or from societal expectations, and just do you! Make your list for you! Create your to do lists based on the time you have available. Try to break it down if your time is very limited, enlist any young people in your house to help out. Even for chores, you need to vacuum…so vacuum! You should vacuum? Well sure, but what if you are just about to go to work, or the kids are running in with muddy feet again, or you know you need to tidy first. That should, is just making you feel bad about yourself. When you feel bad about yourself are you more likely or less likely to be productive? I am way less likely to do it! The rebel inside me comes out and tells me to put it off!

Here are my offerings of alternate words or phrases:
I am going to…..
I will….
I won’t do….
Can you do….
I want to…

Shoulds and even should nots!

Should not can be just as bad. “I should not have said that”, “I should not have done that”, “I should not be thinking that”. You are saying, doing, thinking whatever it is that you are saying, thinking, or doing. Own it. It’s ok! If you said something that you feel bad about, own it and explain it to the listener, rather than beating yourself up about it. If you should not have done something, try to fix it, or undo it. Maybe easier said than done, but there are ways of facing it, rather than letting connotation of the word take over.

The shoulds and should nots have so many underlying emotions built into their use of the word. Life is too emotional all by itself to be bogged down with extra emotion.

You really should strike the word from your vocabulary!

Thanks for coming home!

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