What type of day sounds easier to handle to you?

Day 1: You wake up to your alarm going off. You get out of bed and head down to make your coffee so you can sit and drink it while it’s still hot. You get downstairs and glance at your calendar only to realize you forgot about an appt and now have less than 15 minutes to get out the door in order to make it there only a couple minutes late. While you’re out, your friend asks you what time you are coming for coffee? Another missed ‘appt’! More crazy chaos. You also already knew that today was your day to grocery shop, and you can’t figure out how you will fit that in through the evening between the kids’ activities. You get to the end of the day and can’t even put the dishes away because your brain hasn’t had a single moment to catch up with all the chaos of the day!

OR

Day 2: You looked ahead at your calendar last night, so when your alarm starts going off, you pop out of bed and hop into the shower. You already decided what you wanted to wear because you know that after your appt you are getting together with your friend that you haven’t caught up with in what feels like forever. You already messaged them to let them know you have a cut off time so that you can pop into the grocery store for the essentials for the rest of the week to fill out your meal plan. Because you planned your day ahead, you can make a quick, healthy dinner before the evening driving around gets underway.

Day 2 feels like you are killin it!? Doesn’t it?

On day 2, you knew what sort of expectations you had on your time, no matter how busy or how laid back. The day is so much easier to manage when you think ahead!

The same is actually true for kids!

Think about your worst tantrums with your kids – how was your kid prepared? Did you tell them ahead of time what was coming in terms of get togethers, extra curriculars, and telling them that you need to get groceries after soccer?

The more we prepare ourselves, the more we can set some level of expectation around the day. The same is true for preparing the kids. Letting them know ahead of the day how it might unfold can help prepare them and can help to set their expectations.

I find this especially true when it comes to screen time. I feel like if the kids know at the start of the day when they will likely get their screen time, they ask way less about when they can get it.

As much as it’s great to prepare them, why not put control in their hands! Give them a screen time to do list to take the guesswork out of when they can have their screens. Give them control of how they can use their time.

Make a screen time to do list

Preset a list of tasks and expectations that they must adhere to before they can have their screen time. If they don’t feel like completing their list in the morning, that’s fine! They just can’t get screen time until they complete the list.

The key to a good list is to include a couple of tasks that the kids enjoy and a few tasks that they constantly try to avoid or put off. Add in a couple of educational tasks like reading, writing, or even practicing an instrument to round it off.

Once they complete the list, then there is no debate whether they can have their screen time. If they want even more screen time, they can restart completing some of the list again or maybe create a bonus task list!

If you include a task like clean your room, you can add a time related to it instead of keeping it a vague “clean your room.” Try something like, “spend 15 minutes speed cleaning your room.”

It starts naturally teaching them a bit about time management and even about some natural consequences if they don’t use their time effectively. If they don’t finish all their tasks, they just don’t get screen time.

It’s almost like a screen time fight reset.

Make sure that your list is manageable and reasonable for your kids and their capabilities.

Enjoy not having the fight anymore! No more, “now can I have screen time?”

Thanks for coming home!